Top Image: Stephanie Lee / RICE File Photo
“You always reminded me about the importance of hydration as a self-serving primary school child in 2010. Unfortunately, back then, I had the thirst tolerance of a camel and the stubbornness of a jackass. My cunning primary school self was already attuned to your spot checks.
I knew you’d check whether my water bottle was empty to see if I’d heeded your instructions to drink water. Before getting on a school bus, I dumped the water in a nearby rubbish bin, careful to avoid the detection of the school bus auntie. I was aware the auntie was a close confidant and spy. I’m sorry.”
– Jennifer
“I’m sorry for losing marks in my Primary 3 Continual Assessment in 2007 because I forgot to write the units after the answer. You were kind to me even though you reminded me more times than the number of red circles my teacher drew around my mistakes.”
– Benjamin
“At least half of my art assignments in my dull six-year academic stint in primary school were completed by you. I procrastinated for two reasons: I was an irresponsible student and was afraid of incurring your wrath.
My thick skull usually decided that the best time to inform you I was behind on an art project was the day before. If the project was due tomorrow morning at 8:30 AM, I asked for help the night before at 10:30 PM.
Thank you for always coming to my rescue, even when you could have rightfully allowed me to endure the consequence of my irresponsibility. I remember you undertaking a project while stuffing all the rage down in the night with complaints of ‘Why you never tell me sooner?’.
I’m sorry. I should have.”
– Evelyn
“I remember you told me I was always a ‘kicker’ while in the womb. I’m sorry for waking you up in the dead of night, interrupting what you had hoped to be, the first night of uninterrupted sleep, eight months after you discovered you were pregnant with me. In a way, I’m still kicking. Sorry.”
– Adriel
“My underdeveloped moral conscience back when I was six years old meant that I would do anything to get that Ben 10 figurine of Diamondhead, even if it meant undermining your orders by asking Dad to buy the toy for me. I deeply apologise for that. I still keep that toy with me.”
– Hykel
“My apologies for disrupting your work meeting that one time in primary school. Amidst the rush of anxiety and embarrassment after I soiled myself during recess, I’d forgotten about the extra pair of school shorts in my school bag. I remember you rushing all the way down with yet another change of clothes.
Your expression of disbelief after finding the extra pair of shorts in my school bag sticks with me to this day; you realised you didn’t need to rush down after all. If you’re reading this, I hope that we can laugh at the literal shitshow that happened 15 years ago.”
– Ben
“I sincerely apologise for lying about my whereabouts. Remember the time I told you I was ‘staying over’ with my friends and would only return the next morning? I lied. I was actually on a staycation with my boyfriend at the time. On a (maybe) unrelated tangent, thank you for imparting valuable lessons about practising safe sex!”
– Eunice
“I’m sorry for not adding you back on Facebook—your friend request sits on my computer screen, reminding me that I’m a bad son. Yes, I still use Facebook. No, it’s not the same pictures you see on my Instagram account. If I ever added you as a friend, I’d need a few more paragraphs to apologise for the things I post.”
– Kevin
“I deeply apologise for getting a tattoo I didn’t tell you about. I imagine it must have been a shock for you when you saw that tattoo after I got out of the shower—my name haphazardly tattooed over my chest like a primary school name tag. At least I’ll never forget my name now.”
– Kenneth
