Your life motto: sharing is caring. After all, what use is having a great bod if you’re not showing it off to the world?
Heart-eyed emojis are your drug. And each one you receive is akin to a +1 to your self-esteem (which, if you’re guilty of this cliche, might just be lacking).
2. ‘Totally Candid Pictures Of Myself Mid-Laugh, With The Wind In My Hair’
Stick-thin models might be responsible for contributing to unrealistic body expectations, but you’re responsible for perpetuating unrealistic facial expressions. No one looks this good candid. Your eyes are too focused, you don’t have food stuck in your teeth and your hair isn’t in your mouth.
You’ll get it right the next time.
3. ‘Happy Mothers/Fathers Day, Thankful For All You’ve Done!!! Oh But You Won’t See This Because You’re Not On Instagram’
It’s no surprise if you would also rather get dumped over text than in real life.
4. ‘I Own A Film Camera And Know How To Use It. Here Are Random Shots Of Things As Proof’
5.‘Check Out My Dog/Cat//Rabbit/Turtle/Fish/Iguana! Isn’t It So Adorable?’
Likelihood of repeating the same cliche in the future with their children: 20%
Sugar level when ordering milk tea: 100%
6. ‘Not All Who Wander Are Lost And Other Crappy Wanderlust Quotes’
You perpetually yearn for an escape, whether it’s been six months since your last holiday or ten minutes since your plane touched down. Dreams involve hiking in the Swedish forest with a blue-eyed, floppy-hat, khaki-pants-wearing, golden-haired guide.
7. ‘Dressing Room Selfie’
I get it, the dressing room might be the only place with a full length mirror and decent lighting. But news flash: the dressing room isn’t your personal selfie booth. People like you are the very reason why there’s always a queue for the dressing room.
You probably won’t even buy anything anyway.
8. ‘TGIF, Drinking After A Long Week’
You’re likely not the most independent of individuals and would probably be the first to die in the event of an apocalypse.
So cheers to you.
9. ‘I’m On A Plane, Look At These Beautiful Clouds #nature #wonderful #amazing #thankful’
10. ‘Leaning On The Edge Of An Infinity Pool’
But if you want to impress, you’ll need to try harder than that. Infinity pool shots were cool about 4 years ago. Now they’re just boring. As are you.