RICE

ASIA, UNFILTERED

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Top image credit: South China Morning Post

An Instagram Cliche is an overused and unoriginal type of photograph posted on Instagram.

1. ‘Girl In Skimpy Bikini, Walking Towards Endless Blue Ocean’  

And it’s lesser known cousin, ‘Girl In Sports Bra, Looking Wistfully Into Distance Amidst Nature’.

Your life motto: sharing is caring. After all, what use is having a great bod if you’re not showing it off to the world?

Heart-eyed emojis are your drug. And each one you receive is akin to a +1 to your self-esteem (which, if you’re guilty of this cliche, might just be lacking).

 

2. ‘Totally Candid Pictures Of Myself Mid-Laugh, With The Wind In My Hair’

Honestly, honesty is not your strong suit.

Stick-thin models might be responsible for contributing to unrealistic body expectations, but you’re responsible for perpetuating unrealistic facial expressions. No one looks this good candid. Your eyes are too focused, you don’t have food stuck in your teeth and your hair isn’t in your mouth.

You’ll get it right the next time.

 

3. ‘Happy Mothers/Fathers Day, Thankful For All You’ve Done!!! Oh But You Won’t See This Because You’re Not On Instagram’

Asians might be known for bottling up their emotions, but you take it to a whole other level. Still, as long as your 832 followers know you’re thankful for your parents, who cares if your parents know?

It’s no surprise if you would also rather get dumped over text than in real life.

 

4. ‘I Own A Film Camera And Know How To Use It. Here Are Random Shots Of Things As Proof’

You know what they say, the laziest people are the smartest. And with film, everyone knows that it’s minimal effort for maximum results. So even though you might not and will probably never be a photographer, at least you’ll remind everyone just how cool you are/want to be.

 

5.‘Check Out My Dog/Cat//Rabbit/Turtle/Fish/Iguana! Isn’t It So Adorable?’

Probability of not being a very good owner, who only spends time with their pet when it’s for the ‘gram: 40%

Likelihood of repeating the same cliche in the future with their children: 20%

Sugar level when ordering milk tea: 100%

 

6. ‘Not All Who Wander Are Lost And Other Crappy Wanderlust Quotes’

What we have here is a daydreamer—and a hopeless one at that.

You perpetually yearn for an escape, whether it’s been six months since your last holiday or ten minutes since your plane touched down. Dreams involve hiking in the Swedish forest with a blue-eyed, floppy-hat, khaki-pants-wearing, golden-haired guide.

 

7. ‘Dressing Room Selfie’

I have one word for people like you. Selfish.

I get it, the dressing room might be the only place with a full length mirror and decent lighting. But news flash: the dressing room isn’t your personal selfie booth. People like you are the very reason why there’s always a queue for the dressing room.

You probably won’t even buy anything anyway.

 

8. ‘TGIF, Drinking After A Long Week’

Coffee and alcohol is your lifeblood. Necessary to get you through another gruelling week at work.

You’re likely not the most independent of individuals and would probably be the first to die in the event of an apocalypse.

So cheers to you.

 

9. ‘I’m On A Plane, Look At These Beautiful Clouds #nature #wonderful #amazing #thankful’

Nature reminds you just how small and insignificant you are—and you love it. Also, you love reminding people how lucky you are to be able to take vacations in the middle of September and bag a window seat to boot. No one loves it.

 

10. ‘Leaning On The Edge Of An Infinity Pool’

Yes, we get it, you’ve been to the rooftop of MBS, who hasn’t?

But if you want to impress, you’ll need to try harder than that. Infinity pool shots were cool about 4 years ago. Now they’re just boring. As are you.

Next please.

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