RICE

ASIA, UNFILTERED

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Photography and art direction by Marisse Caine.
Models: Sonia Kwek, Nasita Cassie, and Alpha Romeo.
Makeup by Christian Maranion

“I know what your dick looks like,” I tell Jason (not his real name) as I shake his hand.  

I’m referring to a forum thread on Sammyboy (a famous commercial sex forum) which details his sexual exploits.

“I guess that practically makes us friends,” he laughs.

It’s funny when you meet someone for the first time and you already know what they look like naked. It’s even funnier when you get to point it out and get away with it.

In case you’re interested, here is a picture of his dick.

Jason is Singapore’s resident sex god, swinger, and couples therapist. A civil servant by trade, he is known in the swingers community by a different name: Alpha Romeo.

Throughout the time that I spend with him, I don’t learn much. In a way, it feels as though there isn’t a need to. If you refer to the original thread on Sammyboy on which he first appears, you can find out everything from his height and weight to his values and personal philosophy.

These seem to be the only details that matter.

“Given the conservative nature of my job [and society], I have to keep my sexual habits a secret,” he explains. “Alpha Romeo is a username that I use on internet forums. It has become an alter ego of sorts.”

When Jason isn’t serving the government, he trawls sex forums such as Sammyboy and Undertable for couples to have threesomes (and foursomes) with.

Thus far, he’s had an incredible success rate.

At his peak, he claims to have had threesomes at least 3 times a month. Given that he’s only 28 this year, this is pretty impressive.

“I’m surprised your dick hasn’t fallen off,” I joke.

He shrugs, saying that he has “slowed down a lot” and “reached a stage where threesomes are no longer a big deal”.

Jason was first introduced to the world of swinging by an ex-girlfriend who was “a lot more adventurous” than he was. He clarifies that he was already open to swinging, but simply didn’t have the opportunity to do it until he met his ex. They started swinging together as a couple, hooking up with other like-minded couples to have sex. After they broke up, Jason continued swinging.

When I was younger I believed in sex after marriage. After a few failed relationships, I decided to explore and became more open-minded,” he shares. “I actually don’t particularly look for couples that have a fetish for cuckolding, but of course, being in this trade there are a rare few.”

For the uninformed, ‘cuckolding’ is a term used to describe the act of a man watching his wife have sex with another man. Couples who experiment with cuckolding will usually invite another man into their sex life, called a “bull”. This man tends to have a larger penis or more sexual stamina than the husband or partner.

In every threesome Jason is involved in, he’s always the “bull”, though he prefers to be known as a “gentleman”. 

“I wouldn’t say my penis was larger than the other male. We are of the same size and equal in stamina. I mostly provide comfortable experiences but if a couple requires me to be a bull I can but I’m not one by nature. My nick name can be misleading.”

Elaborating, he tells me, “Partly the thrill comes from being dominant. It’s also thrilling being able to pleasure another man’s wife consensually.”

While being dominant is a turn on for many, it is particularly important to Jason. During our photoshoot, he reminds our photographer multiple times not to portray him in a feminine light.

Part of the reason why Jason is hard to read is that he doesn’t give off any “alpha” vibes at all. With his short-cropped hair and neat buttoned-down shirts, he looks every bit the mild-mannered civil servant that he tells me he is.

When you look at how he interacts with his “regulars”, he sounds accommodating, almost pliant. Even if he tells another man requesting for a dick-pic for his wife that he doesn’t normally do that, he eventually acquiesces.

Whether all this is part of a persona he’s trying to portray, it’s hard to say. Especially when he divulges that his ultimate fantasy is to be the best man to a couple, able to be present as they walk down the aisle.

“Perhaps you look decent on the outside, but a beast on the inside?” I prod.

In response, he’s a little evasive, replying that I “should never judge a book by its cover”. He goes on to explain that when it comes to threesomes, attraction between all three parties is a little more complicated than just physical or sexual dominance.

“For me to engage in such an arrangement I require a mutual sense of comfort with the couple. I don’t proceed with all couples that I meet up with,” he tells me.

Because he’s heterosexual, Jason is only ever physically attracted to the lady / wife. However, he stresses that when deciding whether to hook up with a couple, mutual comfort and chemistry is an important ingredient amongst all the parties involved.

“If I like the guy’s character and personality, I will be able to perform better,” he says. “I prefer nice couples that give off a good vibe.”

And while swinging is, by definition, a promiscuous activity, Jason exercises discretion with who he gets involved with. His main requirement is that the couple should be emotionally stable as things could turn ugly if one party starts to feel “jealous” during the session.

“Thankfully, I have yet to be in a dangerous situation. Having met many people from online platforms, I guess you could say that I have developed a good sense of character judgment,” he explains.

“Right now, I’m looking for a long-term connection with couples. I value experience and friendship above all else,” he says.

‘Friendship’ is a word that comes up a lot with Jason, and it might be surprising to some to know that Jason has stayed friends with most of the couples that he’s had threesomes with. He even hangs out with them as regular friends do, and finds it more kinky that “outside we behave normally but we are able to get intimate in the bedroom.”

“I believe it somehow contributes to a more intense and meaningful session,” he says.

When I ask him to explain his popularity with swinging couples, he tells me that it’s because he’s able to “spice up their sex life” through an experience that is “safe and comfortable”.

I then suggest that perhaps sex and threesomes are merely a vehicle for him to look for meaningful, long term connections, and that he ultimately just wants to facilitate a better connection between the couple he’s having a session with.

He agrees, saying that this is exactly what he’s doing.

“Sex is an important part of every relationship, and I feel good doing this as I know that I am able to help couples strengthen their relationships by fulfilling their threesome fantasies,” he adds.

Such fantasies range from blindfolding the woman such that she’s unaware of who’s having sex with her (an Alpha Romeo x Husband tag team), to couples taking photos of sex acts with him. On his forum thread, there are even screenshots of wives giving him blowjobs—these photos were taken by husbands, and posted online with the express consent of the couple.

It’s not so much about cuckolding as it is about couples who want an experience, especially those who want to have “a 3some MFM and see the wife being pleasured”.

Furthermore, Jason reveals that some of the couples he’s had sex with were already in some form of relationship crisis. More often than not in these instances, it involved a stagnant sex life. Other couples have reached a point where they simply feel joy when they see each other happy. Never mind that this comes from seeing another man sexually involved in their relationship. 

“Some couples are into it for the idea of having sex with someone new. Some are into it for the experience. Some are into it to form a long-term bond with another couple. After all, marriage is more interesting when 4 are involved. Some follow the mindset of if you never try you never know,” he explains.  

Whatever the reason was, he says that all their relationships have benefitted from the swinging lifestyle.

“Rather than cheating on each other, swinging allows them to achieve their fantasies within the confines of a relationship,” he says. “Most of the couples see swinging as an activity that they are able to do together which strengthens their bond and marriage. All the couples that I’ve been with are still together, and from what I know, are very happy.”

In a way, I guess you could say that Jason strengthens relationships with his penis. While I wouldn’t exactly call him a sex therapist, it’s clear that he gets a healthy amount of gratification from helping couples achieve their sexual goals. If this includes resolving their intimacy issues in the process, then why the hell not?

“Most of us keep a false front due to our conservative culture,” Jason says towards the end of our encounter. “Hopefully this article will open minds, and then maybe, our culture might be more accepting.”

Yet as much as his intentions sound noble, none of this alleviates my suspicions. Even after getting to know the man who has been, for the longest time, a legend on Singapore’s most notorious sex forum, I feel like he’s holding something back.

On one hand, I sense a need to dominate. On the other, he possesses a clear enthusiasm for being at the service of the couples he meets.

While he says that seeing many couples happy has made him realise that he wants what they have, and has thus started looking for a life partner, he also says that his interests are more directed to self-improvement. How exactly he plans on creating his own happiness while remaining a companion to other happy couples, I have absolutely no idea.

But then I also end up thinking: why shouldn’t he get to have his contradictions?

When Jason maintains that he will only be open about his lifestyle to people who can accept it with an open mind, I realise that my own skepticism is probably why men like Jason get to do what many others see as a kind of sexual sainthood. He helps people to break the rules they’ve struggled so long to live by.

So perhaps men like Jason don’t exist to be glorified or understood. Instead, they exist to be used. And if you should ever require his services, you know where to find him.

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