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Image credit: James Bloedel

Let’s face it, what does having an ‘old soul’ even mean?

That deep inside, you’re an 80-year old lady who’s been abandoned by her family? A 90-year old man who no longer remembers his own name?

Come on.

If anyone has ever called you an ‘old soul’ or you think of yourself as one, chances are that you like one of the following things.

So here’s what liking each of them really means:

1. Vinyl / Vinyl players

You like this analog, lossless format that sounds “better”, “warmer” or whatever than mp3. And you probably also like flipping through records at a record store while pretending you’re living in the 70s, all while thinking that you’re the only one amongst your friends who actually has any taste in music.

2. Jazz

You like instrumental music that is slightly more “intellectual”, surprising, and that employs unconventional chord progressions and melodies.

Chances are, you also like sitting in the dark, listening to jazz, and thinking about all the ways your ex could have let you down more gently.

3. Drinking whisky neat

You like the complex flavours that come from rare, cask-strength Islay malts, and prefer sipping one simple drink to chugging beer or trying to decide what fancy flavours you want in your cocktail.

More importantly, you dream of holding a job in finance where you get to entertain house guests by walking them through your 400-bottle collection with names of distilleries no one can pronounce.

4. Time alone

You think of yourself as an introvert who gets occasionally exhausted from social interaction. Being upbeat at a house party filled with strangers is probably not your ideal night out.

But you do enjoy it sometimes, though you also have to unplug from the world just for a bit after that. This means you’re completely normal.

5. Preferring meeting people IRL to dating apps

You find dating apps too insincere and optimised for superficial interactions between human beings distracted by hundreds of other options. You’ve been single for more than 3 years now, but you blame it on having high standards.

You also dream about meeting “the one” in some indie bookstore or farmer’s market.

6. Journaling

You like the way writing forces you to slow down and organise your thoughts. But you also think that people who own blogs are narcissistic, and that their parents probably didn’t show them enough love as children.

You’re also the sort who used to spend hours colour-coding all their notes for school, although you were always an average student.

7. “Deep” conversations

Your Tinder bio says that you love “deep” conversations; also #wanderlust. You don’t understand why people love gossiping so much or talking about their day.

Your ideal conversation is one where you talk about all the “more meaningful” and “adventurous” things you want to do with your life.

You never actually get round to doing them.

8. Not going to clubs

You hate crowded, noisy, hip, and “young” places. You also hate paying lots of money for shitty alcohol, and watching how the clubbing environment legitimises casual sexual assault.

Finally, you really like telling people how much you don’t like clubs, especially those who go to clubs a lot. You secretly think that this makes you look cool and different.

So there.

You’re not an ‘old soul’. You’re just a person with hobbies and lifestyle preferences.

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