Brown Rice is the Most Un-Singaporean Thing You Can Eat
- Current Affairs
During yesterday’s National Day Rally, PM Lee Hsien Loong urged Singaporeans to eat less white rice, or switch to brown or mixed rice. In fact, it feels like that was the only thing anyone actually remembers him talking about.
But honestly. Does this man really think he can take our white rice away?
What’s going to happen? Are we now going to live in a world where we can no longer lecture the younger generations, saying, “I eat more salt than you eat rice”? Would this analogy still work if said rice was not white but brown?
These dishes prove what’s really at stake here; what parts of our culture we stand to lose forever if we actually start doing this whole brown rice thing.
1. Nasi Lemak
2. Chicken Rice
Sure, we have our preference for either white chicken or roast chicken. But if there’s one thing we all eat, it’s white rice.
3. Ba Zhang
And I’m sure we can all agree: they DON’T WORK.
No one’s gonna judge you for wanting only salted egg yolks in your dumplings, or insisting you want at least 3 chestnuts in them. But if you actually enjoy ba zhangs made with brown rice, please don’t call yourself Singaporean.
4. Zi Char
Think back to every amazing zi char experience you’ve ever had. Now replace the white rice in those memories with brown rice.
Sorry for the week’s worth of nightmares.
5. Nasi Padang
I know what crispy skinned ayam goreng, spicy sotong, beef rendang, assam fish, bergedel and sayur lodeh all go perfectly with.
Guess what? It’s not brown rice.
6. Nasi Goreng
Fried brown rice is not going to negate the fact that you just inhaled more than 600 calories in one sitting.
7. Teochew Porridge
Until it’s made of brown rice.
No amount of peanuts, omelette, Ikan bilis, fatty pork, salted vegetables or repentance can salvage this dish.
8. Nasi Biryani
Some would argue that biryani is the mother of all rice dishes. And we’re happy to let whoever these people are win this argument, as long as brown rice stays out of the equation.
Not only is brown rice more expensive, we also can’t imagine our grandparents cooking any of these dishes with brown rice. So every time we choose to have brown rice, guess what?
We’re shitting on everything our ancestors have done to make Singapore what it is today.