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10 Kinds of People Who Need to Stop Driving Today

10 Kinds of People Who Need to Stop Driving Today

  • Current Affairs
  • Opinion
Top image: The Straits Times

It was announced a day ago that Singapore plans to cut its car growth down to 0% by February 2018. That’s awfully soon, and you can bet that for many Singaporeans who are wondering if this means they’ll have to give up their vehicles, the typical reaction would be, “Anyone but me!”

To be fair, there are a ton of drivers who don’t deserve to own cars.

So why don’t we start by by getting rid of these guys, and in the process make the world a better place?

1. Private hire car drivers who are “just being honest” when sharing their racist, sexist or political opinion that you didn’t ask for

I’ve met a guy like this, you’ve met a guy like this, your grandma who used Uber for the first time last week probably had this guy for her driver.

Every time they start a conversation about the 70% who got what they deserve, tell you a woman is probably driving the vehicle that rightfully didn’t give way to their car, or proclaims that a minority race are the worst drivers, a kitten dies a horrible death.

And you get to give them a one-star rating.

2. People who think it’s okay to drink-drive because they “do it all the time”

If you don’t have a friend who does this, you have a relative who does it. They always drive to drink, and whenever you ask them if they’re okay to drive after they’ve had a few, they smile and say, “Of course I’m fine. I do this all the time.” As though this somehow makes them less of a danger to other people.

Here’s the thing about drink drivers. They’re all just accidents waiting to happen.

This kitten just died.
3. The person who never signals but always swears at others for not signalling

All drivers have a streak of self-righteousness in them. Some are just worse than others.

If these people are doing this on the road, they probably do this in real life too. For them, everything is always everyone else’s fault. But when they do it, they must have a good reason.

4. People who think tailgating actually accomplishes something

For some reason or other, Singaporean drivers love to tailgate.

This probably has something to do with how 377A is still a thing, and how many Singaporeans don’t feel they can express their sexuality openly. As such, they use their cars to get as close to the backsides of other cars.

Whatever it is, tailgating is dangerous, stupid, and it doesn’t get you to your destination any faster. Stop doing it or stop driving.

5. McLaren drivers.

I don’t think we need to explain this one, right? But just in case we do, here’s why.

 

There are three other lanes to drive leisurely on. If you want to live life in the fast lane, step on the pedal.

6. Fast and Furious cast wannabes

These people don’t sleep at night and won’t let you do so either. They take delight in waking up an entire street by blasting EDM over their equally loud engine.

When they’re not racing down expressways like maniacs or patting themselves on the back for beating the third red light in one night, you can find them trying to overcompensate in other areas of life.

7. That person who takes up two parking lots

These drivers are an entitled bunch, and “considerate” does not exist in their vocabulary. They’re the same people who use your office mug without asking, and who sit on your bed the moment they enter your room.

8. People who drive at 50km/h in the first lane

Driving slowly only increases the danger when you hog the lane meant for overtaking and bunch up a whole lot of faster cars behind you.

Seriously, there are three other lanes to drive leisurely on. If you want to live life in the fast lane, step on the pedal, damn it.

9. People who can’t decide whether to change lanes

Indecisive drivers are like the relative who means well with their prying questions, but who ultimately pisses you off. Overly cautious about everything, these timid drivers only create more anxiety for other drivers when they straddle two lanes because they can’t make up their minds.

Without a car, they won’t be burdened with such vexing decisions anymore.

10. This driver

Author

Julian Wong Associate editor